Dear Well-Meaning Person,
Please don’t comment on my weight. You don’t know this, but I suffer from Anorexia. Yes, I really am anorexic and no, it’s not just a phase that 15-year-old girls go through. Yes, I also know that I don’t “look” anorexic. Today you complimented me on my weight-loss. You have no idea that I starved myself to lose that weight. That I purposely skipped meals, abused drugs, and ate less than the nutritional requirements of an infant for months. That I hated myself so much that I thought the only way to stop hating myself was by losing weight.
And that after I was sexually assaulted, I wanted to be so small that no one would ever look at me that way again, and I developed an eating disorder because of that. Hearing your compliment today makes my eating disorder feel validated. Like I was doing something right by starving myself, and maybe I should keep doing the thing that feels like it’s been done right. It internalized the message I have that smaller = better. Smaller = more worthy and more deserving to exist. Please think about that the next time you comment on someone’s weight. You could be complimenting a disease, stress, a mental illness, or someone’s grief or trauma.
From, Me
@reallythegossipgirl on instagram