Hi, I'm Katell, or at least I was...
I'm suffering from anorexia nervosa since one year on average. The day I'm writing this, my mood is at my lowest.
Eating disorders have completely ruined my life.
I used to be a girl who was enjoying her life, who was happy,eating the foods she wants, hanging out with her friends... Living !
You want to know what my life looks like since I've lose more than 25kg? Well, let's make a list:
- Thinking about foods every single second of the day
- Feeling guilty about staying a few hours on a chair
- Controlling EVERYthing
- Being unable to focus on a film or on a book
- Going to the toilets 15 times a day
- Struggling to breathe correctly
-Â Binge eating
- Being depressed all the day long
- Losing my hair
- Not being able to stay in the same position on a chair more than 5 minutes because I've no more fat in my ass
- Avoiding all the outings with friends
- Being cut from my family
- Struggling to fall asleep because of overthinking
- Looking like nothing in every clothes (even the skinniest)
- Finding happiness in nothing
The list is too long...All I want to say here, is that wanting to loose weight was the worst decision of my life, I wanted to be healthier, to have a strenght body, to be admire by the others and by myself... But see, nothing of that happened... I just have a weak body, empty of energy, and I can't manage to enjoying my life anymore...I'm sabotaging my life...I'm just stuck...
Bye, Katell
@disordered.kat on instagram