For most of my life, I thought to be healthy meant cutting out “junk food”, over-exercising my body, and losing weight. I was obsessed with calories, starvation, and hatred for myself. I spent so much of my time stuck in this so-called “healthy” cycle that I was miserable and so so far from actually being healthy. A few months ago I was hospitalized as a result of my eating disorder, which almost took my life. Due to countless medical complications because of my ed, my doctor told me that if I hadn’t been taken into the hospital within a week at the most, I would have died.
After the hospital I started eating disorder treatment for the second time where I realized the key to health isn’t ed behaviors, weight loss, or exercise - it’s a balance. Sometimes I want a cupcake and sometimes I want a salad, but both are okay. I’m starting to learn that loving my body regardless of my weight is the right thing to do, and it’s exciting. So now when I think of being healthy, I think of a positive relationship with my body, being a generally happy person, and letting myself incorporate all foods into my life. I don’t care what other people’s definition of healthy is because I have my own and honestly, I’ve never felt healthier.
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