It took me many years and a lot of different experiences in- and outpatient to understand that there are so many different treatment options for Eating Disorders. For quite some years I was wondering why treatments worked for others while I relapsed again and again. Today I know the answer is simple: while there are a lot of similar symptoms, fears and thoughts among eating disorder patients everyone is still so different in their responses to treatment options and in their needs to overcome their past. I’ve had inpatient treatments that where totally useless for me and I’ve had others that helped me not just to survive but to start understanding myself and change my point of view about things. I’ve tried to recover all by myself. One time because that’s what I wanted to try, other times because I’ve had no other option, no other choice. No matter why, it never worked for me. I’ve had outpatient therapy and day care hospitals that helped me on my way to recovery although it didn’t last for very long. And I’ve had this kind of support but it would just drag me deeper into the Anorexia. I was at a point where I was about to give up. Where I felt like I’ve tried everything but obviously recovery isn’t meant for me. I was so wrong!!! I finally found the help and support that I need to fully recover. After 24 years going back and forth between the Anorexia and countless recovery attempts. I’m going to outpatient counseling, having a great medical team that holds me accountable and helps with regular visits and check ups and most important for me: I have friends and family that never let me down. Another another huge part for me was finding my church community and being able to grow in my spirit and understanding of God and what he wants for me. It is so difficult to live with an eating disorder and all the pain and thoughts and fears that it is causing and feeling like you’ve tried so much and nothing can really help you. But the point is: There is a way!! There is the right way for everyone. The hard part is to keep trying and fighting and finding what does work while walking all these paths that maybe don’t. Recovery is hard, it’s sometimes painful and often difficult and it can be frustrating at times. But it is totally worth it. And it is surely possible. All these things are temporary (and I know it feels like forever when you’re in the midst of it). Everyone is different! And it might even change over time what you need to recover. Some people will need more time to find their way and other will need less. It doesn’t matter for you. It doesn’t mean you’re unable to get there. Never give up!! Full recovery is possible for every single one of us. Never stop trying until you find your personal way to make it through this.
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