The Girl in the Mirror @simplensweet

I remember looking in the mirror & loving what I saw. Not the body but the girl. The girl with confidence, the girl with a spark in her eyes, the girl with a smile.

I remember looking in the mirror & beginning to see the flaws. The flaws in the way the girls’ body looked. Pointing out every part that wasn’t ‘perfect’, every part that didn’t fit the standard my brain had set. The body I saw needed to be ‘fixed’.

I remember looking in the mirror & watching the girl disappear. But I didn’t love her more. As her body shrunk, my dislike grew. Every pound lost lead to more judgement, more hate. She still wasn’t perfect.

I remember refusing to look in the mirror & avoiding them at all costs. I didn’t want to see the girl in the mirror. The girl who was failing, the girl who constantly felt sad. I despised her. She wasn’t accomplishing anything. She was a failure.

I remember looking in the mirror and not knowing what I saw. She was no longer a girl. She wasn’t even human. She was just a mass of skin & bones with no feelings. I cried. How was she not perfect? She couldn’t continue doing this, she had to attempt recovery.

I remember looking in the mirror & watching her body change. She isn’t perfect but that’s okay. I am learning to accept her. I don’t always have to love the girl I see but I can appreciate all she can do. She’s still growing, still recovering, & still weight restoring. She is gaining back her smile & her life. She’s recovering.

She is more than her body or her looks. She’s a human. She has feelings, she has dreams, she has a future, & she is creating memories.

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